Monday, 27 October 2014

Ramblings of a Barren Brain

I really want to write something here but I draw a blank a complete blank.

This is scary because I thought I could write... well I did and when work, housework, television, facebook and Life took over I begin to feel that I reach a dead end.

My last entry was in June and July was a good month.  Dennis had his 66 birthday and we took friends out for a Pub meal.  We like this local Pub called The Moorings and I think we had changed our mind after the meal.  We waited for almost two hours for our food to arrive.  Okay there was a wedding reception but they could have at least apologised.  To be fair the food was delicious - I can still hear the crunch of my pork crackling.

Then my Mother in Law had a bad turn in August.  She had a water infection and because of her age this has had a bad effect on her.  She was aggessive, confuse and mildly demented.  We were able to place her in a respite home for 10 days.  Dennis and I felt traumatised with the experience.  We did not know what to do.  Our stress levels have reached the highest point.  We are thankful that the incident happened and the wheels are in motion now to assess her and monitor her if there was an onset of early dementia.

I am here to support Dennis and we are on the agreement that we go with the flow.  We surrender Mother in Law to God; we acknowledge our helplessness and we let His will be done on her.  We now stop attempting to force things to happen. This sounds so easy to do but we are struggling.

With all these happening around Dennis and I still find time to meet up for lunch dates.  We were blessed with a very good summer so we had been lunching at a Garden Centre near where I work.  The place has summer umbrellas put up with tropical palm trees dotting around the perimeter.  The setting feels very Mediterranean.



Zen is another place we go too for meals after work.  It is a Thai restaurant the serves the most beautiful Pad Thai and Suki Yaki and the very comforting Thai Soup ever.  I cannot remember the name now but I could have that barrell of soup every week.





I took 4 days Annual Holiday in September and we have had 3 wonderful glorious days in the Lakes.  We love the Lakes.  We would buy a house in the Lakes if we have the money and because we do not have that much money so we just booked ourselves in this organic hotel called Mossgrove in the Village of Grasmere.  Dennis and I are not walkers and definitely not climbers.  We go to the Lakes a) to relax b) to find the best restaurant and c) and to read.  We did all that!


Then back to work of course.  I like my work.  I still do. Although at the moment there is a feeling of uncertainty with staff leaving and new staff coming in.  There is another re structuring looming and this makes me feel a little bit uneasy.  I know it is only work but I spend 7 hours at work I would like to feel happy and satisfied in those 7 hours.

October came - my birthday month.  I took friends to Crook Hall and Gardens for afternoon tea.  I had a great time.  Though there was some mixed up to my booking - which I would like to stress - not my fault ...everything went well. 
Unfortunately a day after my birthday my Mother in Law had another bad infection.  Her agressiveness was worse this time.  Psychiatric doctors were ready to section her but after a weekend of interviews and assessment she was declared fit to be kept in her own home.  I feel for Dennis he was very distraught.  I worry now that the condition of Mother in Law will take its toll on Dennis.

We are now in the last week of October.  The weather is still very mild.  The trees are almost bare and the ground is covered with leaves.  The clock has moved back an hour and as I look outside it very dark at 4.30 pm.






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