Say that again?

I am leafing through a glossy magazine and I cannot help but notice these lines/statements as big cosmetics companies sell their latest 'must haves':

• Skins cells need to communicate constantly to maintain a support structure that helps skin looking young.
• We have developed a solution to a thirsty hair.
• These product contains carefully selected oils such as Rosehip, Sesame, Canola + pure cocoa butter and Vitamin E.
• We are the antidoe to a tired complexion - makes you look rested and comforted.
• Our telescopic explosion with its new globe brush captures every lash to look longer and fanned out.
• We have the time-released hydration for all-day comfort.

Sigh, I think I need to lie down.